I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
