i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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