I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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