How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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