Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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