Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
