Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
