I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
