Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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