we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
