just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
