Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
