Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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