if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
