I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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