I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
