My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
