I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
