one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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