i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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