yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
