Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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