Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize