She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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