he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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