i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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