I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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