remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize