I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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