porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
