i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was born a porn star she said
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize