some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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