just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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