have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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