We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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