So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
