You just made me feel so damn special
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
