Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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