i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
