he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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