genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
