I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
