I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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