guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
