carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
