They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
