Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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