there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
