Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
