I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
