Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
