You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
