Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
