I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
