There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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