that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we should paint friendship bongs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
